Off the South Florida Coastline
28 June 2016
So – excuse me – recently I was sitting on the toilet at night scanning through some GoPro dive footage.
Having swum solo a few hundred yards out, freediving in only about 20 feet of water, I had been trying to take an underwater “selfie” with some cool gray triggerfish coming up to me, their bug eyes swiveling forward. Early evening shore dive.
A large body slid into the frame.
My heart jumped.
Silhouette though the light blue-green South Florida water
10-12 feet long. Sickle-shaped dorsal fin, scythe-shaped tail.
I never knew he was there.
Broadside the Great Hammerhead shark moved precisely, and slowed.
In a moment low-angling sunrays glinted off his flat brown hammer head.
Coming behind he turned toward me. You can see his tail curving.
His face must have come up right behind my legs, almost to the bottoms of my finned feet.
I actually have some frame grab “selfies” with the shark’s body back there and my stupid face having no idea. Smh.
There is a moment like suspended animation as he pauses.
What was he thinking? What was he doing there right behind me, staring at me??
And then, in the video, he’s gone.
How had I participated in such intimacy, without even knowing it?
So I guess I’ve “seen” my first “real” shark while diving.
My head throbbed. I couldn’t sleep all night.
I’ve dreamed about this (feared it also) since I was little.
So many feelings.
What would have occurred if I had turned and saw him close?
I’m sure I would have instinctively freaked and caused a commotion, swallowing water, trying to get away. We have certain animal instincts or mythological impulses.
Would the commotion have excited him (or her) to tear into me with that big mouth and those big white teeth?
Or scared him away, like me, in the moment?
I know how to steel myself down into a situation.
I’ve had near-death situations before.
If he had come for me, I would have fought him but not faulted him. After my initial panic.
I am moved to look at language. I would not have considered it an “attack”.
He was just “doing him”, in his 400 million-year old perfection.
People kill 100 million sharks a year.
So many Great Hammerhead sharks have been killed by people they’re on the IUCN Red List.
He is not like a person whose mind has become poisoned and virulent.
Would I have screamed? Highly unlikely. Probably at most there would have been one surprised yelp, then soundless, as we tangled. I am not a loud person.
If he had gone too far, and it became clear that this was my new reality and there was nothing else anymore, I probably would have been ok with that too.
It was our bodies, intimately. You adjust to what is happening in the moment. Right here right now. Especially in the sea.
I’ve lived an interesting life anyway, and created work that can change lives beyond mine.
My eyes would have seared into his as he let go and turned and swam away, and I leaked out. Slipped under.
Interesting thing about being out in the ocean. You don’t think about your problems or life or anything. When you’re in the water, there is no reflecting; you’re just present; you just swim and act and react. And absorb.
Teresa Heinz Kerry
Several years ago at the International Urban Parks Conference in Pittsburgh, I listened to Teresa Heinz Kerry speak about growing up in Mozambique. She talked about how her Portuguese family had learned to live with African wildlife, and didn’t swim at dawn or dusk when sharks were active.
When I entered the water I knew it was approaching what I’ve named shark o’clock, remembering Ms. Heinz Kerry, but I rationalized it was still early evening, not dusk.
And what freediver can resist calm waters?
So what is the mind?
Sojourner Truth said: “It is the mind that makes the body.”
I’m still new to diving. I just buck up my boldness and skills, push against my limits within reason, and learn and adjust through experience as I go along. I know it’s kind of Darwinian, but there’s no substitute for that. NASA’s not saying it but I’m sure they’re counting on a lot of that for the trips to Mars and deep space beyond.
Looking at this shark visit, the same incident happened whether I knew about it or not. The shark swam up behind me and paused there.
But my reactions would have been different had I known.
And now, knowing about it after the fact?
It’s odd – I feel like my flesh is bonded into his body now. My body should be inside his. Hammerheads are migratory. I think about him out there, traveling the seas.
I know you’re not supposed to dive alone but… the ocean calls me. Deeply.
And my dive partner is not always available.
Will I go back out?
Of course. It’s way too interesting out there.
